lately

i truly believe that there is something incredibly beautiful in each of us


everyday i dont look for someone to fall in love with
i look to see what i love in life the pain, everything simple and the things we forfet about
i love driving home because thats when i see the beauty in where i live
i love going home to my family and my friends and seeing the happiness in their eyes
seeing and meeting people everyday because even if they dont know it or see it life itself is beautiful and im thankful for it all.
sometimes its hard to get out of bed but then i think of what the day may bring and i feel better.
everyday when i go to bed no matter how stressful or sad the day may have been i know that tomorrow can be better and i tell myself that it will because i turely believe that if i accept it then i will be true.
i dont fell badly about the rough days and i dont appreciate them any less because they are part of life and i have to accept that and thats not a bad thing its just a fact.
the music the art the love, they are all the same and they are all a part of me i always hope for the best for the ones i love and i have faith in others accomplishing that in life which is a dream.
i fuck up sometimes but i love me and i love life and i will never give up on it and i hope you dont either.

who is this?

I look within

I see me?
what do I see?
who I am?
who i want to be?
no, who i wish i wasn't!
maybe both, I see a little bit of who i am and who i wish i wasnt
sometimes all i see is who i wish i wasnt
sometimes thats all there is too see.
to see who i want to be i need to not 'see'
but to experience.
what i need is me trying to live
we dont need to try and be the 'me' we need to try and live so that we are, in turn 'me'.

addicted to the dark

What is it that makes it so hard to leave that place?

why do we stay here and complain about it?
even when we leave we still talk about being stuck in the hurt
when we are happy we keep it close and reference it

its the fact that without the bad there is no good

without no dark what is light?

without sad what is happy?

we care because its just as important as being happy
because it gives us a chance to feel good.


people are inspired to write books and poems and song about the dark
people quit jobs because of the dark
we do stupid things because of the dark


but


people are inspired to write books and poems and songs about happiness
people quit to seek out happiness
and we're all stupid sometime because of happiness or love

and sometimes too much caffeine



do we hate the dark or do we secretly love it?

we need the pain and we need the relief


we are all the dark
as we are all what isn't dark

why be broken?

Why is it that we are so often brokenhearted when someone fails at being who they say they are going to be when you know from the start that they are full of shit?

Why be hopeful?
Of course you want them to prove you wrong but lies are easy and most people are too lazy to work twards change.

Everybody knows this.

Sometimes we admit to knowing and sometimes

we play stupid

by this action are stupid.

I am not a pessimist.
At least not like i used to be.
That took work.
I am proud of that
However I do still state things as I see them and I will not apologize.

Sometimes people disagree or misunderstand what I am trying to say

I am willing to hear what others have to say

I will never apologize.

Not for being me

nor for my beliefs

Being popular with empty people is useless

being full of yourself is just as useless

I am not selfless and I am not selfish.

The Phoenix rose from some ashes

Flowers will grow in the dark

and life will kick my ass time and time again

But I will never again give up being me
even if sometimes you have to start over.